Translating songs: Callejeros 'Creo' (I believe)

Well, if you ever got to know the stupid guy that writes these blog posts you will possibly know that the ugly muppet loves translating songs, particularly the ones that are in Spanish to take them into English. I personally have it as a hobby and I can assure you that you may increase your English vocabulary and also your Spanish, it is too hard tho (probably because musicians 'smoke too much Mary Jane' and it leads them to write things that are beyond our grammatical capabilities) Anyhow, this song is called 'Creo' by Callejeros. Take a look.

(please, let me know if you find any sort of grammar mistake)

Callejeros "Creo" http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vd1FTZVxKNs


CALLEJEROS "I BELIEVE"

I believe that sadness is more beautiful
While you listen to a song,
I believe that I may mean just too much
With only a word,
But I don't believe in the stupid media,
Everything leads to your love and also to my pain

I believe it is better to die fighting than to live in chains
I believe that the wind brought me the smell of your cheek

I believe in my guitar,
I believe in the sun,
if it can heal my wounds

I believe in your voice

I believe in life, night and also in your soul
And don't believe in anything else,
I believe in your star,
the one I try to find in my dreams...
To carry on

I believe in the afternoons I spent playing football,
I believe that to educate is to combat
And silence is not my language
I believe in your smile, I believe in me if I can see you today,
And you tell me not to give up
I live for you

I believe in the rain when it changes the smell of my soil,
I believe in the sea at dawn when it cuddles the stones
I believe in the jasmines that God gave me one day
The ones that made me met you,

as a woman

I believe in life, night and also in your soul
And don't believe in anything else,
I believe in your star,
the one I try to find in my dreams...
To carry on
I believe in life, night and also in your soul
And don't believe in anything else
I believe in your star, the one I try to find in my dreams...
To carry on

Maine (se reservan todos los derechos de la traduccion xD)

The Michael Mcintyre's Comedy Roadshow

Michael Macintyre is an English comedian. He is well famous around the U.K. He performs live shows such as "Live at the Apollo" which is an incredible show that I recommend, particularly for those Brit humour lovers. He also appeared in many BBC broadcasts such as "Does the Team Think? (BBC Radio 2), The Jon Richardson Show (BBC 6 Music) and The Chris Moyles Show (BBC Radio 1)."

Personally, I couldn't understand most of his jokes at first, but then, surprisingly, I started getting all that he was saying. It is a good way to practise your listening skills and also to learn new words (I've learnt LOADS of English expressions and ways of saying things!)

The comedy roadshow consists in many British comedians (sometimes with some Irish or American comedians too) led by Michael Mcintyre in a performance of around 45 minutes to an hour. The event is generally performed in the most famous theatres of the cities they go. Next year, he will perform shows at the M.E.N Arena in Manchester, the O2 Arena in London, the National Indoor Arena in Birmingham and many many others.

The reason why I've post this is because they speak incredibly fast and because they're not only from England. Unlike in the BBC, where you find the best British English in my opinion, the comedy roadshow includes people from all over Britain and Ireland. Not only are you going to see somebody from Manchester or Newcastle but also you're going to see many Irish or Scottish comedians, with a completely and unintelligible different accent from the one you are used to. Everybody in the same performance, changing accents, playing with words and cultural meanings, this is just AWESOME.

Here is one of the best shows in my opinion. Pay particular attention to a guy called Jason Manford, a Mancunian stand-up comedian. You'll definitely R.O.F.L ((roll on floor laughing))

Ohthankyouverymuch rate: 9+

Michael McIntyre Comedy Roadshow - Manchester - In HD

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SK6Ij_lK-Qo

William Blake, English poet, painter and printmaker

First of all, I'm very sorry for not being around lately, I had too much work to do.

Well, this post is dedicated to all those who deeply love poetry and English literature in general.

I have been reading some poems by William Blake and I found them quite amazing indeed! If you want to read English poetry please... start by this little guy. You may find it hard at first but he wrote one of the best lines ever in my opinion... you may dislike it, I don't know, but it is worth reading tho.

William Blake is such a good poet. He wrote wonderful things such as one that I have read a little time ago and strongly recommend: "And Did Those Feet in Ancient Times"

Read also:

The Little Boy found, Laughing Song, A Cradle Song The Divine Image

Holy Thursday,Night, Spring, Nurse's Song

Infant Joy

And many many others.

On the day of his death, Blake worked relentlessly on his Dante series. Eventually, it is reported, he ceased working and turned to his wife, who was in tears by his bedside. Beholding her, Blake is said to have cried, "Stay Kate! Keep just as you are – I will draw your portrait – for you have ever been an angel to me." Having completed this portrait (now lost), Blake laid down his tools and began to sing hymns and verses. At six that evening, after promising his wife that he would be with her always, Blake died. Gilchrist reports that a female lodger in the same house, present at his expiration, said, "I have been at the death, not of a man, but of a blessed angel." (wikipedia)


It is a good way to see different ways of writing in English. This is considered very very old but you can find some words that you had never seen before.

I'll leave you for now, but before I go I would like to give you a link where you can listen one of the most beautiful pieces by this man, although its music was composed by Charles Hubert Hastings Parry. And in my opinion it should be the England's national anthem, if it is that you don't like the Queen!!

Jerusalem:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pTVwFgL8Y7w

Eisteddfod in Chubut: A perfect Argentine-Welsh mix (Una mezcla perfecta entre argentinos y galeses)

((I have to translate the Spanish part into English yet!))

Eisteddfod is a Welsh festival of literature, music and live performance. This tradition started many centuries ago, maybe on the 12nd century when a festival of poetry and music was held by Rhys ap Gruffydd of Deheubarth at his court in Cardigan in 1176 but, with the decline of the bardic tradition, it fell into abeyance.

Eisteddfod del Valle del Chubut
Colonización galesa en Argentina

Con la llegada de colonos galeses al valle inferior del río Chubut (Provincia al sur de la República Argentina), llegaron también sus costumbres, entre ellas la celebración del Eisteddfod.

El primer Eisteddfod del Chubut se realizó en Rawson a fines de 1865, aunque recién a partir de 1880 se realizan organizada y regularmente. En los años 1930 se incorporó el idioma español, incorporando así la cultura de Argentina. Hubo pocos Eisteddfodau en los años 1950, pero a partir del Centenario de la Colonia, en 1965, se celebran anualmente, incorporando ahora otras manifestaciones artísticas.

El Eisteddfod del Chubut cuenta con tres ceremonias importantes; primero se entrega la medalla de plata, entregada por la "Asociación San david", al mejor poema vinculado con la realidad regional en castellano; el segundo premio es la "Corona del Eisteddfod", entregado por la Municipalidad de Trelew con tema y métricas libres, en castellano; Por último, y más importante, el Sillón bárdico al mejor poeta en el idioma galés, competencia principal .

Cabe recalcar que en la Ceremonia del Bardo. Con anticipación al evento, el jurado elige el mejor poema. En la ceremonia se da a conocer el seudónimo del ganador y se lee el veredicto del jurado. El bardo, es invitado a subir al escenario. Se produce entonces un gran momento de suspenso hasta que el poeta se levanta. La sala explota en aplausos y éste, al ritmo de una melodía tradicional galesa se dirige a recibir el premio. Un grupo de niñas lo agasaja bailando la danza de las flores, a la vez que un solista entona una melodía.

Existe también un Eisteddfod de la Juventud donde el mejor poeta recibe la "medalla de oro" ó "Premio Municipalidad de Gaiman". El mejor momento sin embargo se produce en la entrega del premio al mejor poeta en galés, cuando dos personas de descendencia galesa lo reciben sacando cada uno su espada y preguntan en voz alta ¿Hay paz?, el público responde "¡Paz!".

También se celebran eisteddfodau, en las ciudades de Puerto Madryn, Dolavon, Gaiman y Trevelin

Argentina and Uruguay, differences that may help (for tourists)

Many English speakers who study the Spanish language cannot find any difference between the Uruguayan variation of the Spanish and the Argentine Spanish, well we are very similar indeed. If you are not an Argentine or Uruguayan native it would be almost impossible to find one.

I will write a list with some words that can help if you come to Buenos Aires and then you decide to cross the river and visit our neighbors.

Championes= Zapatillas

tatata= OK, está bien, no hay problema. Entendí. (the Uruguayan football commentators say "tatata" when a player is about to score a goal, which would mean something like "Ahí está, ahí está")

Gurí= Muchacho, muchachín, niño, pibe or chabón or even guacho! (slang)

pa (generally sustained: "paaaa")= guau, da.

This is just a brief list, but I want to mention something else and what is most important: The Argentine voceo and the Uruguayan Tu+ voceo form.

As complicated as it sounds, Uruguayan people ( NOT ALL OF THEM) mix the form TU+ verb in the voceo conjugated form which is rather confusing for English speakers.

For instance:

In Spanish we normally say "Tu tienes que estudiar más", in the Argentine voceo "Vos tenés que estudiar más" but the Uruguayan form would be" Tu tenés que estudiar más"

As you see, the pronoun TU carries the voceo conjugated form of Tener (Vos tenés, Tu tienes, tu TENÉS)

If you ask for a recommendation, please do not use it, nor use the Argentine voceo if you are talking to someone who barely speaks Spanish. You have to be an advanced student to use and understand the voceo form which is quite pleasant to our ears but a little bit complicated to make it sound quite well as well ( if it is that you are not Argentine or Uruguayan)

This is a perfect English Speaker explanation and imitation (!) of the Argentine Spanish, hope you enjoy it,

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cy66HJHkQ-w

Goodbye.

(North) America vs Great Britain: Which is the hardest accent to understand in the English language?

Hello everyone. You know a question we the students of English translation ask or are been asked most of the time is: Which is the hardest accent to understand? The British accent ( bad called 'British' then we'll see why) or the American English.

To begin with, it is almost impossible to get to know an English teacher living in Argentina or someone who has spent a long time in the U.K as if to teach it perfectly. It is a very hard accent to imitate, it has got many different sounds and what most of us believe: It sometimes makes you sound a bit womanish (I am not saying that English people are gay!) It is just that we don't have a voice to reproduce it exactly as they do. The same happen to them when they try to imitate the Spanish or the Argentine accent, it is clearly impossible.

In addition to that, we don't have quite a few British movies on t.v which makes it even harder to get ourselves used to this accent. As I did comment in the last post, we have the chance to listen to the BBC radio. That might be one of the easiest ways to embody a 'British' accent.

Now, why a 'British' accent? I take it you refer to the accent used in England. We are so used to call it 'British' that we forget that there are three more countries inside the U.K in which the accent differs rather a lot from the one used in England. Those countries are Wales (they are more likely to speak English in the south and Welsh in the north), Scotland (they have an awfully strange and rough way to pronounce the letter R and the I with the N together like in "bahiiiinnndd"'behind' and some of them use a language slang called 'Doric' which is a complete deformation of the actual English.) And finally, North Ireland (I don't know too much about them) But the thing is, they don't share the same accent. It even changes inside England. The London accent, the Mancunian accent, the Scousers accent or something like that ( Liverpool) It is amazing the big quantity of accents you can find there, so next time try to avoid using 'British' to refer to a general accent.

Coming back to what concerns us, the American accent. Why is it, in a way, 'easier' to understand than the English accent? As I said before, we are full of American movies, we don't have many English movies so that does make the difference. What's more, everybody has forgotten the strong London accent with which teachers used to teach a couple of years ago. Now, almost all of them speak American. As an example, from a personal experience: My first 3 years of English were at the American FISK Institute. So since I was a child I saw myself forced to get used to that accent. Anyways, I try not to speak with an American accent, in fact I do not have an American accent, it is not that I hate it, no, it is just that I don't like my voice in it, and I much prefer anything that has to do with the British culture indeed.

Basically, in my opinion the harder is the English, Scottish, Welsh or the Northern Irish accent. Despite the fact I do love them, they are rather hard to understand anyway.

BBC radio online: A fantastic way to practise listening

It's almost one year now that I have been  listening to the BBC radio on-line on a daily basis and I realized that my listening skills have improved quite a lot. Apart from broadcasting such excellent programs with such excellent broadcasters, it allows you to train your ear and gain a great listening ability.

Be patient, you are probably not going to understand a flipping word at first, but then, actually it will be as easy as to listen to any radio program in the Spanish language. At least, that has happened to me and I'm very proud of myself. Come on! I know you can do it!

The BBC broadcasts programs in more than 20 stations (at least in Argentina) including BBC radio Wales and BBC radio Scotland ( which is UTTERLY hard to understand)  and BBC radio Cymru, that broadcasts everything in the Welsh language ( which I also speak a little!)

I would strongly recommend a station called 5 live; funny, interesting and they speak good and clear English. Or even the classic but sometimes painfully boring BBC world news station.

Hope you enjoy it,

http://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/console/bbc_radio_five_live

ohthankyouverymuch rate: 9+ 

Why is it good to meet people that live half a world away?

This is dedicated to all those who have friends so far away from home, particularly all those who have someone in another country, either Europe or Asia, Africa or Oceania and so on.

We live in such different countries. We have different cultures, different ways of living and behaving. We think the world so differently from each other. Moreover, some of them go so far as to discriminate. But this post will not be about that. This is about the importance of meeting people the world over. You see their point of view about life, behaviour and what is most important: Their language and how it changes the way they speak and think.

It is so incredible to sit for a while and to listen to the way they speak, the way they move their hands or even the way they look at you. You wonder why everyone in each country has a different way to do it.

I would not like to generalize and there are people AND people, but for instance Italian people, when they pick up the phone and they realize it is you, they go flipping crazy and they shout in that particular Italian way and it makes someone so happy.

Most of the British people, when there's a problem they face it so quietly and they always try to find a solution without getting nuts. Very, very diplomatic people.

Or even Russian people, they hardly smile, don't they? But they respect you quite a lot and the way you think.

Of course you will find good and bad people around the world, as I said before there are people and people and you can even argue with them.

But the point is: You have to take the best of them. Don't just stay with the way people from your country think and behave. Go out, visit new places, meet new cultures. Open your mind.

Diversity is what makes us unique.

The Kilkenny's Irish pub: A good way to practise your English?

Hi everyone. Well, yesterday I've been to The Kilkenny's Irish pub, which is a place located in Marcelo T. de Alvear and Reconquista (Ciudad de Buenos Aires). I was told that you could go there and practise some English with real English speakers 'cause the place is full of people from Great Britain, Ireland and the U.S. In fact, it was full of them, but the thing is that they are much too drunk to speak their language in a clear way, and apart from that if you go with friends, as I did last night, you don't want to leave them alone because surely you're having a better time with them anyway.

So basically, if you want to practise your English, it is a place to go on your own and meet new people ( if it is that you're not married yet!!) or to go after work on wednesday and listen to good music, but that's all, and you had better practise English with them before 8 or 9 because otherwise after that they are all flipping wasted indeed!

ohthankyouverymuch rate: 6, (7+ drunk)

http://www.thekilkenny.com.ar/inicia.php

English native speaker explanation of modality: (C.J)

I have been ordered to help explain these. It's not easy, but I will do my best here. I will do a short bit about: shall / should; will / would; may / might; can / could; must. If you need further explanation you can ask questions of course, which I will ignore.

Maybe the easiest way to explain is that words like should, would, might, could are similar to the subjunctive in European languages.

Should - means something is not entirely necessary but would be beneficial.

"I SHOULD do my work." (But I'm going to the pub instead!)

Shall - same as will, not used in common speech but for formal contracts and contexts. Certain.

"The tenant SHALL behave well in the property."

Will - used for future tense, means something is going to happen or be done. Certain.

"I WILL do it." "It WILL rain."

Would - conditional, something will happen if it's possible.

"If she broke up with her boyfriend I WOULD ask her out."

May / might - quite the same, but "might" is used in the past. It is possible for something to happen, but not certain.

"Will you go?" "I MAY do."

"Have you done it?" "I MIGHT have." (Past tense.)

Can - something is possible.

"Do you want to?" "CAN do."

Could - conditional form of can.

"Why didn't you ask her out?" "I don't know - I COULD have..."

Must - means something is entirely necessary, like with commands or to express absolute certainty.

"That girl MUST be Angelina Jolie." (I am sure.) "You MUST revise for your exams." (There is no choice.)

Note: we don't normally use "must" in the construction of an imperative command, just the actual verb.

"Go to your room!" (NOT "You MUST go to your room!"

Have to - same in Spanish, similar to "must". Entirely necessary."I HAVE TO go, or my mum will kill me!"

Genial denuncia de un hombre a la Policía de Devon y Cornwall, Inglaterra

Este es un legítimo reclamo a la Policía de Devon y Cornwall, Inglaterra, escrito por un vecino muy enojado.
Un mensaje de verdad enviado a la policía, extenso pero excelentemente escrito.


Querido/a Señor/ Señora/ Contestador automático,

Habiendo desperdiciado veinte minutos esperando a que alguien de la Policía de Bodmin me atendiera el teléfono, he decidido abandonar la idea de llamarlos e intentar con un e-mail.

Quizá sería usted tan amable de pasarle este mensaje a sus colegas en Bodmin, a través de señales de humo, una paloma mensajera o una tabla de Ouija.

Mientras le escribo este mensaje, allí afuera hay once experimentos médicos fallidos (creo que ustedes les llaman jovenes) en la calle St Mary's Crescent que está justo al lado de la carretera de St Mary en Bodmin.

Seis de ellos parecen suficientemente felices jugando un juego el cual consiste en patear una pelota contra un portón de hierro con la fuerza de un meteorito. Esto provoca un sonido destructivo que retumba en todo el lugar.

El juego lleva ahora tres semanas y como no estoy seguro de como funciona el marcador no tengo idea de cuando va a terminar todo.

Los otros cinco abortos hurgan muy felízmente en varias bolsas de basura y partes de muebles que considerablemente alguien dejó junto a los contenedores. Uno de ellos acaba de encontrar una sierra y comenzó a agredir a una silla como castor bajo el efecto de varias pastillas de éxtasis.

Me temo que será sólo una cuestión de minutos antes de que le dediquen su atención a la garrafa que se encuentra entre los contenedores.
Si tan solo me aseguraran de que se volarían sus brazos y piernas yo felízmente dejaría que lo hicieran. Iría tan lejos que hasta los dejaría seguir con sus juegos.

Por desgracia es más probable que vuelen la mitad de la cuadra con ellas y hace poco terminé de decorar mi cocina.

Lo que yo sugiero es lo siguiente. Luego de responder este mensaje, con la poca garantía de que la situación sea investigada y tratada en el futuro, por qué no dejarlo para alguna noche del año ( probablemente la noche de baño) cuando no haya mutantes alrededor, entonces acerquense a la cuadra en su coche Panda antes de pegar la vuelta y desaparecer otra vez. Esto, obviamente, no tiene ninguna otra intención mas que la de recordarnos como los policías actúan realmente.

Confío en que serán gentilmente corteces de darme una ventaja de cuatro meses antes de venir y arrestarme cuando le parta un martillo en el cráneo a uno de estos retrasados.

Le saluda atte. su obediente servidor.



Señor -------


He leído su mensaje y comprendo su frustración por los problemas causados por los jóvenes que juegan en el area y las dificultades que usted ha encontrado al comunicarse con la Policía.


Como oficial comunitario encargado de su calle me gustaría dialogar el conflicto enteramente con usted.

En caso de que desee discutir lel asunto, por favor, déjenos sus datos para poder contactarlo ( dirección o número de teléfono) y cuando sería apropiado.

Saludos cordiales.

PC------
Oficial comunitario


Querida PC?


Primero que nada me gustaría agradecerle por la rápida respuesta a mi correo original.

16 horas y 38 minutos deben de ser un record personal para la estación de policías de Bodmin, y estoy seguro de que le mandaré estos detalles a Norris McWhirter para que los incluya en su próximo libro.

¿Podría ser el primero en felicitarlo por sus habilidades secretas? En 5 años más o menos que llevo viviendo aquí en St Mary's Crescent nunca lo he visto.

¿Se esconde en la copa de un árbol o se ha encubierto e infiltrado en la pandilla misma?

¿Es usted el que tiene granos y el bigote en la frente o el de la pera en forma de lavabo?

Seguramente sea una cuestión de tiempo antes de que seas atrapado por la MI5.

Mientras pienso que deben de haber muchos más crímenes en Bodmin, como por ejemplo fumar en un espacio público o ser un Musulmán sin el debido cuidado y atención, entonces ¿es demasiado pedir un policía que les explique (usando palabras de no más de 2 sílabas a la vez) a estos coños que vayan a jugar su extraño juego de fútbol a otro lugar?

La cancha en Fairpark, o la que está en Priory Park ambas se encuentran a un escupitajo de distancia.

Saludos cordiales

-----


Pd: Si usted cree que esto va con sarcasmo, piense mejor que no tiene que trabajar para el departamento de limpieza con quienes... ¡estoy también en contacto!

Funny complaint e-mail sent to Devon & Cornwall Police Force, England

This is a genuine complaint to Devon & Cornwall Police Force from an angry member of the public
A true email sent to the force, lengthy but brilliantly written......

--------------
Dear Sir/Madam/Automated telephone answering service,
Having spent the past twenty minutes waiting for someone at Bodmin police station to pick up a telephone I have decided to abandon the idea and try e-mailing you instead.

Perhaps you would be so kind as to pass this message on to your colleagues in Bodmin, by means of smoke signal, carrier pigeon or Ouija board.

As I'm writing this e-mail there are eleven failed medical experiments (I think you call them youths) in St Mary's Crescent, which is just off St Mary's Road in Bodmin.

Six of them seem happy enough to play a game which involves kicking a football against an iron gate with the force of a meteorite. This causes an earth shattering CLANG! Which rings throughout the entire building.
This game is now in its third week and as I am unsure how the scoring system works, I have no idea if it will end any time soon.

The remaining five failed-abortions are happily rummaging through several bags of rubbish and items of furniture that someone has so thoughtfully dumped beside the wheelie bins. One of them has found a saw and is setting about a discarded chair like a beaver on ecstasy pills.

I fear that it's only a matter of time before they turn their limited attention to the caravan gas bottle that is lying on its side between the two bins.
If they could be relied on to only blow their own arms and legs off then I would happily leave them to it. I would even go so far as to lend them the matches.

Unfortunately they are far more likely to blow up half the street with them and I've just finished decorating the kitchen.

What I suggest is this - after replying to this e-mai l with worthless assurances that the matter is being looked into and will be dealt with, why not leave it until the one night of the year (probably bath night) when there are no mutants around then drive up the street in a Panda car before doing a three point turn and disappearing again. This will of course serve no other purpose than to remind us what policemen actually look like.

I trust that when I take a claw hammer to the skull of one of these throwbacks you'll do me the same courtesy of giving me a four month head start before coming to arrest me.

I remain your obedient servant


Mr ??????,

I have read your e-mail and understand your frustration at the problems caused by youths playing in the area and the problems you have encountered in trying to contact the police.

As the Community Beat Officer for your street I would like to extend an offer of discussing the matter fully with you.

Should you wish to discuss the matter, please provide contact details (address / telephone number) and when may be suitable.

Regards
PC ???????
Community Beat Officer

Dear PC ?

First of all I would like to thank you for the speedy response to my original e-mail.

16 hours and 38 minutes must be a personal record for Bodmin Police station, and rest assured that I will forward these details to Norris McWhirter for inclusion in his next book.

Secondly I was delighted to hear that our street has its own community beat officer.

May I be the first to congratulate you on your covert skills?

In the five or so years I have lived in St Marys Crescent , I have never seen you.

Do you hide up a tree or have you gone deep undercover and infiltrated the gang itself?

Are you the one with the acne and the moustache on his forehead or the one with a chin like a wash hand basin?

It’s surely only a matter of time before you are headhunted by MI5.

Whilst I realise that there may be far more serious crimes taking place in Bodmin, such as smoking in a public place or being Muslim without due care and attention, is it too much to ask for a policeman to explain (using words of no more than two syllables at a time) to these twats that they might want to play their strange football game elsewhere.

The pitch on Fairpark Road , or the one at Priory Park are both within spitting distance as is the bottom of the Par Dock.

Should you wish to discuss these matters further you should feel free to contact me on If after 25 minutes I have still failed to answer, I’ll buy you a large one in the CAt and Fiddle Pub.

Regards
?

P.S If you think that this is sarcasm, think yourself lucky that you don’t work for the cleansing department, with whom I am also in contact!!

A poem about the flipping crazy English language

The cow in the plural may be cows or kine,
But the plural of vow is vows, not vine.
And I speak of a foot, and you show me your feet,
But I give a boot... would a pair be beet?
If one is a tooth, and a whole set is teeth,
Why shouldn't the plural of booth be beeth?

If the singular is this, and the plural is these,
Why shouldn't the plural of kiss be kese?
Then one may be that, and three be those,
Yet the plural of hat would never be hose.
We speak of a brother, and also of brethren,
But though we say mother, we never say methren.

The masculine pronouns are he, his and him,
But imagine the feminine she, shis, and shim.
So our English, I think you will agree,
Is the trickiest language you ever did see.

I take it you already know
of tough, and bough and cough and dough?
Others may stumble, but not you
on hiccough, through, slough and though.
Well done! And now you wish, perhaps
To learn of less familiar traps?
Beware of heard, a dreadful word
That looks like beard and sounds like bird.
And dead; it's said like bed, not bead!
For goodness sake, don't call it deed!

Watch out for meat and great and threat,
(They rhyme with suite and straight and debt)
A moth is not a moth in mother,
Nor both in bother, broth in brother.
And here is not a match for there,
Nor dear and fear for bear and pear,
And then there's dose and rose and lose –
Just look them up – and goose and choose,
And cork and work and card and ward
And font and front and word and sword.

And do and go, then thwart and cart.
Come, come, I've hardly made a start.
A dreadful language: Why, man alive,
I'd learned to talk when I was five.
And yet to write it, the more I tried,
I hadn't learned it at fifty-five.
And yet to write it, the more I sigh,
I'll not learn how 'til the day I die.]